Macabre sense of humor. I told her that everyone is being so nice to me now that I am bald and dying of cancer, fixing my car for free, sending me gifts. etc. She told me to hit the streets and "work my head" to get even more gifts and favors, etc., sort of a Walking Dying Wish Persona. We joked about what a person like me wanted or needed or would just greatly appreciate now that the end is nigh and laughed so hard, being very irreverent.
But, thinking about it all seriously, there is truly nothing that I want or need or must have before I die. Bummer. Now when I was well, I had a long list of things. The world changes.
I suppose that I want what all of us want, or want for awhile, and that is more time, much more time on Earth to interact with those that we love and will miss terribly, if we could miss anyone after death.
I think that I should do that angiogenic diet for added time, but can't seem to get it together to do that. Need a cook to do it for me. The chemo seems to not work as well as at first, dunno. Just floating down the river of life, missing things already, that are still here. How silly is that ???!?!?
Most of what I think that I want to do with my time involves working my butt off and that just makes me laugh, as that is what I did my whole life.......but, when I lay around feeling bad or wiped out, I feel guilty, though I am getting better about that....embrace what is, doing that now.
What a shallow entry, but I must be shallow to write it........... A HA hahahahahahah.
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